Catching up With Old Friends

August is the month for weddings, as was the case for us. A couple weeks ago, Amber was a bridesmaid for an old friend's wedding back in Lafayette. And this weekend, we were back in our hometown of Lafayette, IN for my brother Brant's wedding. Between the few days we had to spend, I had a great chance to catch up with many old friends and relatives I rarely see (In addition to a short stop in Indianapolis on the way to chat with our friend Beth and go to the State Fair with Dennis and Heidi!... I think we got sick from the greasy food and milkshakes...). There were many conversations to be had hanging around the campfire with my brothers late at night, at the rehearsal dinner, the wedding reception, and the occasional activity with old family friends. We had hoped to see many more people on the trip, but alas, one never quite gets around to all the things they hope to do - especially when mom is having the rehearsal dinner at her place so she can have her boys repaint the deck railings and clean up the house :).

Amidst all the many conversations, the thought often occurred to me that I have changed so much since I used to hang out with these people. Coming back home these days is often a bittersweet time, as I know my views about many issues regarding politics, religion, and all the other topics one isn't supposed to talk about have become a sharp contrast to many I know in Lafayette. It doesn't help either that it seems that everyone's regard towards me (I call it the "spirituality meter") instantly lowers when they find out I'm not in vocational ministry anymore, lowers some more when they hear I'm in grad school and not in seminary, and hits an all-time low when they find out I'm studying philosophy. At this point, I have to work hard to reassure them that I haven't caved into the "worldly, relativistic thinking of secular humanism" (when did philosophy get automatically equated with secular humanism? Before or after the Apostle Paul quoted Greek philosophers?) and provide some explanation for why a Christian should study philosophy.

And yet, I was amazed at the number of conversations I had with old schoolmates and cousins my age that were surprised - even excited - to see the changes that have occurred over the course of the last few years of my life. Several cousins were encouraged by my academic pursuits and honestly confided with me that they too struggled with many similar issues as they've grown in their faith and matured in life. In fact, I ran into two old friends - guys I've known for nearly twenty years and went to school with from 3rd-8th grade - who, after talking to me for a few minutes were simply ecstatic that they had had the chance to catch up with me. One of them said, "Man, I haven't talked to you in three years, and I love you already."

Back in high school and college, my relationship with these two guys gradually drifted as we pursued different "interests." I, being the "spiritual" person that I was, religiously went to youth group, led Bible studies and prayer groups, and answered the "call" to full-time vocational ministry, while my two friends ran around with the "wrong" crowd and made unwise decisions. What could have made my two friends so happy to hang out with me now? And then the thought occurred to me that one of the biggest changes that has come about in my life over these past few years is that I have (at least I think I have) gradually let go of much of my self-righteous, judgmental, condemnatory airs and attitudes. I drove these guys away in the past because I was such an arrogant jerk, and now they're finally interested to be around me now that they can see that I recognize I'm human just like everyone else.

Funny how the timing is, but another old friend commented on my blog about this very topic of how I've changed over the years and asked me this question: "Do you ever wish you could go back and talk to the person you once were? And as follow-up, do you think he would listen?" I have to say that YES, many times I wish I could go back to the person I was in high school. I wish I could tell him to take things less seriously, to not be such a self-righteous hard ass, to treat people with respect and grace when they have differing views from yourself, to pursue truth with humble hands open, and to realize that the world's not as black and white and the answers aren't as clear cut as I would like them to be. But alas, I highly doubt I would have listened. I was too confident I had all the right answers back then.

How would you answer these questions?

In other brief news, Amber's pregnancy seems to be going well... aside from the not-just-contained-to-the-morning sickness she's been having. Every day is a small adventure of getting up, lounging around not too far from the puke bucket, trying to find something to eat that doesn't churn her stomach at its mention, and putting up with large amounts of fatigue. Hopefully, the "morning sickness" will end at the end of the first tri-mester which should be around the end of August - which will be good timing as school and work start back up for both of us at full force at that time.

And then there's our garden. The garden still continues to produce fruit, but its had a few setbacks. First, some of the yellow squash plants got hit hard with squash vine borers and have pretty much kicked the bucket, although there's still one going on very strong (this is probably a good thing, as Amber is the one who really likes squash and it doesn't sound good to her at all at the moment). Then, the tomatoes have been extremely slow in turning red as we've had an unusually mild August. We've only had two ripe tomoatoes so far and one other that's starting to ripen on the vine. We also have some green peppers that are finally starting to come along that we hope will be ready for the picking after our brief vacation to Virginia Beach (we're leaving tomorrow... and get back just in time for the start of the school year!). AND.... now the mystery plant growing out of our garden is starting to bear fruit. And it's definitely not a cucumber! A watermelon??