I am a post-fundamentalist, post-modern pilgrim, who at most professes to be trying to become a Christian (as Kierkegaard would say) as I seek to learn what it means to live as part of a Kingdom where the first is last and the servant is the greatest, and where the least of these is of deep importance.
So Emerson has come up with this new face that he makes when he gets frustrated that's a combination between wrinkled brow and huffing and puffing. I'm not quite sure where he got it, but it is quite hilarious, and I mangaged to get it on video when he wound up hurting himself the other day.
We've also been trying to come up with creative ways to get E to eat his vegetables and other foods he's not crazy about. He loves bread and cheese, and a number of fruits--even eats whole pieces of bananas and pears on his own. He usually eats whatever we're having too, so he's been willing to try squash, lentil soup, and has discovered he likes meat too. But to get him to eat broccoli, I've reverted to dipping crackers--or even Chex!--into the broccoli, and amazingly enough, he's gone for it!
This past Sunday I watched a portion of the Grammys and was taken aback by the powerful lyrics of Green Days's "21 Guns." The song led me to comment on Facebook that Green Day may well be one of our best theologians today. How could that possibly be? The thought will no doubt receive criticism from many, but I am compelled by the thoughtful words of Phyllis Tickle: "More theology is conveyed in, and probably retained from, one hour of popular television than from all of the sermons that are also delivered on any given weekend in America's synagogues, churches, and mosques." There is often more substance, raw honesty, and profundity related to how we percieve God and our world in an episode of "The Simpsons" or "Lost"--or in this case, a punk rock band's song--than in many of the sermons I've heard in my lifetime.
A friend of mine who took my comment seriously considered the lyrics and blogged about it, suggesting that the lyrics are a fine portrayal of the Christian notion of surrender. I think he's right on target, but I want to go a little deeper . [If you are unfamiliar with the song, the lyrics are provided here -- and I encourage you to watch the outstanding music video on youtube!]
"Do you know what's worth fighting for? When its not worth dying for?" Immediately and throughout, the song is a double entendre, calling for a truce, peace, and surrender, both on the personal level and the political. The chorus rings out, "One, 21 guns/lay down your arms, give up the fight/ throw up your arms into the sky, you and I." It is interesting that, in a culture where many people on both sides of the political aisle are tired of the fighting and death in Iraq (except for, perhaps, the "Christian" company that has a $660 million contract with the U.S. military to build gun sights), in a time when when anti-war protesting is higher than it has been since Vietnam, the idea of personal dependency, surrender, and choosing faith and trust over self-will and self-preservation are not given a lot of air time. This notion of giving up control, of a self that recognizes it is passive in the wake of what comes in the future, of the power of powerlessness, is the distinguishing feature of Kierkegaard's notion of human subjectivity. Kierkegaard offers the examples of Abraham in Fear and Trembling and Job in Repetition, both who gave up everything in a moment of madness only to impossibly receive it back again from Whom "all things are possible" and Who reminds us that "Whoever tries to keep his life will lose it, and whoever loses his life will preserve it."
The simple question raised by Green Day, "What worth fighting for?" is an incredibly profound question. I wonder how many people in the Christian culture wars enraged over the issue of homosexuality (whether for or against), for instance, have stopped to ask, "Is this worth fighting for?" Are my views on this issue "worth dying for"? Is it in my top 10 (or even top 100) list of theological nonnegotiables?
Still further, the song continually makes a point about the nature of our lives and the nature of faith. We all have been hurt, been pained, been betrayed. The list could go on and on of the things that have been done to us -- and the things we've done to others. Amidst it all, there could be a silver lining, not a reason for the pain and hurt, but a passion that proceeds from it. Green Day asks, "Does the pain weigh out the pride? . . . You're in ruins." And still later, "When you're at the end of the road / And you lost all sense of control / And your thoughts have taken their toll / When your mind breaks the spirit of your soul." We can try to think and reason about the meaning of what has happened in our lives, we can search for answers to the horrors and evil in the world, but such strivings often leave us wanting, even crushed in spirit, "and a crushed spirit dries up the bones," said a wise sage long ago. All of this leads to the profound statement by Green Day: "Your faith walks on broken glass." -- which Paul tells us, we see through "darkly."
Even more could be said. By the end of the song, Green Day touches on many more themes that could be developed such as longsuffering ("And the hangover doesn't pass"), repentance, forgiveness, and idolatry ("Did you stand too close to the fire / Like a liar looking for forgiveness from a stone"), redemption ("And you can't get another try"), brokenness and disappointment ("Nothing's ever built to last" and "Something inside this heart has died."), and resurrection, or the very Christian notion the life so often arises through death, like a Phoenix rising from the ashes ("When it's time to live and let die." As Jesus reminded us, only when a seed is put in the ground and "dies" that it produces fruit [Jn. 12:24; cf. Gal. 2:19]).
This past week, Emerson turned ten months and had some milestones to show for it. Emerson started the week by moving from his baby bath tub into the big bathtub. And boy was he excited!
Now with his fifth tooth coming in, he's moving on to more and more solid foods and learning to eat on his own. We introduced him to whole wheat saltines, and he loved them. Finally, after a few times of trying to shove the entire thing into his mouth, he realized it may not be wise to try to eat the whole cracker all at once! (word of advice: cracker crumbs and overalls don't mix!)
And to round out the end of the week's highlights, later in the week after Amber gave E a bath and set him on the floor, she went out of the room and came back to a smiling baby. After going out of the room again to find him smiling when she returned, she wondered what was going on while she was out of the room. So, she peeked in while Emerson wasn't looking and found that he had discovered and was delighting in his "malehood"! Yes, you are a boy, son.
As I'm sure it has been the case for you, I can't stop thinking about the situation in Haiti, the wreckage, the deaths, the slow progress in getting aid to mourning and poverty-stricken people. I can't stop thinking about how it takes a terrible tragedy such as this to get Americans to think its time to start sending significant aid to Haiti that will finally enable the country to create an infrastructure, how it takes a terrible tragedy such as this to jolt me out of my narcissistic, soulless slumber.
I am struck by mindless comments made by people like Pat Robertson, who seem to think they have a direct line to God, who think tragedies like earthquakes that kill hundreds of thousands of people, have simplistic reasons for their occurrence. And while there have been many quality responses to the "Christian" spokesperson--I was particularly compelled by Don Miller's as well as the bloggers at Sojourners (here and here -- although the cracks by Keith Olbermann are going a tad too far)--I still can't get around wondering why he still has a job, why people still listen to him (no wonder my parents didn't allow me to watch the 700 Club growing up!), how he could fail to realize that most of the people affected by the quake are (or at least claim to be) Christians--missionaries, relief workers, and followers of Jesus living in the poorest country in the Western hemisphere.
Theodicy (our attempts to give a reasoned response for why God allows evil in the world) simply fail. Auschwitz, the killing fields of Cambodia, Rwanda, Darfur, and even Haiti all point to Emmanuel Levinas's claim that we have reached the "End of Theodicy." There is no adequate answer. To try to give an answer--especially to someone who is hurting so deeply--is not only inadequate, it is grossly violent. Could some of those individuals who have endured the suffering be able to find meaning amidst the pain, terror, suffering, and evil? Yes. But it is not our job to offer it to them. Our only adequate response is an intellectual kenosis (Phil. 2:7), a self-emptying of our position of authority and having-all-the-answers and a bending down to help, serve, give, and sy/empathize.
Those who are there are requesting our prayers -- but who wants prayers from a condescending American who pompously "knows" Haiti's condition and what it needs (that is not a critique of Pat Robertson but all of us who think those "poor Haitians" just need America's money, America's democracy, America's hope, and America's direction)? They are requesting essentials like food and water and medical aid -- but even with our ships and helicopters and airplanes we are having trouble getting them there and we cannot successfully do so unless we parakaleo (come along side/help/comfort; John 15:26) them, work with them, and let them lead. They are requesting we help them rebuild their infrastructure, help them build housing for hundreds of thousands of people roaming the streets, and even temporarily set up a martial law to protect from large-scale vandalism and thieving -- but we must not offer these things from the position of the "Great White Hope," of power, of doing it our way, but by offering a humble strength, we can help Haiti become a better place that is still theirs. We can give money, we can act politically and ask the President to grant "Temporary Protective Status" to Haitians (just go to the link-its not that difficult!), and we can pray. We can leave them a "corner" of our possessions as the Israelites were commanded to leave the poor, the orphan, and the immigrant the edge of their field (Lev. 19:9) [You have to see Rob Bell's video on this topic]. But amidst it all, we must do so with a sense of gratitude, humility, and a healthy regard for the Other--knowing they have just as much to grace us with as we do them.
Let us give up our self-guilted sense of being obligated to provide a reasoned answer and act for Haiti--and for so many other widows and orphans and strangers--with a reckless grace: a grace that offers the poor a helping hand without expecting something in return, but a grace that begins with ourselves, that liberates ourselves from measuring up to some unknown requirement of having all the answers, of being right.
Well, it’s the last day of 2009, which means it is the last day I can conscientiously blog about the six different things I had planned to blog on over Christmas break. But as Christmas breaks always seems to go, I never get as much done as I had planned. Every Christmas break when we go to Indiana, I pack with me far more books and activities than I ever get around to—whether its because I enjoy the time off not feeling like I need to do anything, I am having fun with family and friends, or I get engrossed into my new Christmas presents, all the things I had planned seemed to fall by the wayside. I should feel good that at least this time I actually did read one of the books that I took with me!
Anyways, one of those activities I had planned, as I had already said, was to blog about at least six different things. So, since it’s about 10PM on New Year’s Eve, and I’m going strong on a martini and a half, a quick blurb about all six of them is in order!
EMERSON’S FIRST SNOWFALL
The Saturday before Christmas, Pittsburgh got five inches of glorious snow. It was Emerson’s first real snowfall, so we had to make the most of it. We pulled out Amber’s old sled from her childhood and pulled him around the neighborhood. He couldn’t quite figure out how to hold on yet, so if we started out pulling the sled to hard he just fell backwards and laid still on the ground (he looked a lot like Ralphie’s younger brother in the movie, “The Christmas Story”). But after a while, he was loving it. Later in the day, we took him outside and he watched me throw snowballs at a nearby electricity pole and he would burst out laughing every time I threw one and then turned around to look at him. Here are some pics!
EMERSON’S FIRST CHRISTMAS
Well, it was Emerson’s first Christmas and he pulled in the more gifts than he knows what to do with. Heck, we may even regift some of them and give them to him again at his first birthday! Seriously, he got so many gifts that he had to be put to bed before he even got to open them all. We told our family not to get him any clothes smaller than 18months outfits so he could grow into them and he’s already in 12 month outfits. Well, over the past two days, we’ve put him in some of his new clothes and they fit him like a glove. I never thought I’d have a nine-month old who wore 18-month clothing! Anyways, here are some pics!
SHOP CLASS AS SOULCRAFT
So, my father-in-law gave me perhaps the best (and most meaningful) gift this Christmas. It’s a book entitled Shop Class as Soulcraft written by a former philosophy PhD who is now a motorcycle mechanic (Greg Stoutenburg, this is definitely a book you would love!). One of the primary theses of the book (there are a number of really good points) is that the growth of “knowledge workers” at the expense of “labor workers” in our society has had a negative impact on our society: it has not only let to a shortage of mechanics, electricians, plumbers, etc in our nation, but has further increased our mind-body dualism, caused us to become detached from Nature, and has led us to believe that all physical labor requires little to no mental, ethical, or physical thought. Matthew Crawford not only addresses these issues, but makes many other memorable points. I mention only a couple: (1) Crawford points out that many times in our society we reduce our time to the amount of money we could make during that hour if we were at work. As a result, we reason: Changing my own oil of my car isn’t worth my while because in the amount of time it would take me I could have made $XX.XX. Crawford suggests that such thinking not only dehumanizes us (reducing us to consumers and money makers), but it detaches us from our world and our own things (we have no control over the possessions we own). Furthermore, there is an intrinsic value in learning how to change one’s own oil, learning some electrical, plumbing, or mechanical work that cannot be measured in dollar signs. (2) The caricatures we have made of blue-collar work – as if all such work is as mind-numbing as assembly line work or of the fat plumber with his butt crack hanging out – are poor misrepresentations. In reality, many blue collar workers make more than so-called white collar workers (like the plumber making $60-80/hr), and many white collar or “knowledge” work has now become just as mind-numbing and meaningless as the assembly line work so despised.
AVATAR
For our sixth anniversary (Dec. 27), Amber and I made good use of family members willing to babysit Emerson and went to a movie and dinner (dinner was a bit disappointing. We had planned to do Thai food, but apparently every Thai restaurant in Lafayette was closed for the break, so we had to settle on just going somewhere). So, we went and saw Avatar, which was the first movie we had seen in theaters since last Christmas break (we saw “Slumdog Millionaire” which is amazing) minus the drive in theater movies we’ve gone to this year with Emerson (We saw “UP!,” “Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince,” and “Where the Wild Things Are” in the drive-in this year…all of which would have been worthwhile blog posts if I had found the time….).
Hm…So my review of Avatar is somewhat mixed. The special effects and colors are amazing, making one wish there were such a planet known as Pandora (seriously, they are amazing). On the other hand, the plot is entirely predictable, and if you’ve seen the previews you’ve gotten the entire gist of the movie: White man comes to invade the land of the “savages” and kill them (and the forests) in order to get their natural resources; A couple white people defect to the side of the “savages” and help them defeat the White man. In other words, Avatar is basically a sci-fi version of “Dances with Wolves” with a little bit of adult-level “Ferngully” mixed in. That’s the cold hard truth. And yet, amidst this extremely umambiguous plot line (i.e., not realistic), propagation of the “great White hope” viewpoint, and sad historical fact that the “savages” rarely (if ever) are on the winning side, I actually still liked this movie. Perhaps it was because these problematic issues were so glaringly obvious that I liked it, or simply because I empathize with a story that has been played out so many times throughout and continues to be played out and wish that the tide would somehow turn. For instance, the majority of the white people that side with the “savages” are those who have been assigned to appeal to them on a cultural level – learn their language, build them a school, etc – but these individuals’ roles exist solely to force the White man’s will on the minority. After reflecting on this scenario, it dawned on me that much of modern missions has had this kind of role: missionaries come in under the guise of bringing the minority group humanitarian goods but in reality (intentionally or unintentionally) serve to set the stage for the incoming of the Western power and cultural control. The history surrounding the Boxer Rebellion in China is a really good example of this, but many other examples abound (even down to the minute details, such as White missionaries who think Africans need to wear Western clothing before they get “saved.”).
“HOME”
This one will have to just settle as an intriguing thought: At what point, after you have moved away from the city you grew up in do you no longer call it home? In college, I called Lafayette home, which I’m sure is pretty typical. Even when I lived in Indianapolis owned my own home for over three years, I still called Lafayette home. But over the past couple weeks, between driving back and forth between Pittsburgh and Lafayette for Thanksgiving and Christmas, I have noticed myself calling both cities “home.” I think the switch is finally taking place.
BATTLESTAR GALACTICA
Over the course of this semester, Amber and I have been watching through the entire “Battlestar Galactica” TV series on DVD at the behest of a friend, and I have found it quite intriguing (we also watched the short sci-fi TV series “Firefly” which is also quite good). There is much to be said about this series. When they originally aired, they addressed numerous timely (and some, timeless) issues including racism, torture, terrorism, the misuse of technology, ethical issues related to the justice system, and numerous other political issues. What intrigues me most, however, is the explicit discussion of theological topics. Like the Chronicles of Narnia, it seems like when theology is cast in a completely different light—in a fictional setting—people really listen. Battlestar addresses belief in the supernatural, god (and gods), interpretation of scripture, predestination and destiny, and many other theological topics.
YEAR IN REVIEW/MEMORIES OF 2009
So, after counting, I realize this is now my seventh category. … Ah well. I had also hoped to do a “year in review” or at the very least, recount some of the many memories (mostly of Emerson) that occurred over this past year. There are the many other movies I had seen over the year (at home on DVD since I didn’t see them when they came out last year in theaters!) that were profound and worthy of reviews such as “The Curious Case of Benjamin Button,” “Doubt,” “Serenity,” “The Changeling,” and “The Lives of Others” (all of which I highly recommend). And then there were the ones that were not worth my time like the 4th installment of “Indiana Jones” (ridiculous!) and “Twilight” (ugh).
Then, there are the many memories. Emerson’s birth, the day he fell off the bed, the day he first started crawling, the day he conscientiously said “Da-da,” and on and on. And there are the other events – getting rejected from nine PhD programs, and getting accepted into Duquesne (it only takes one!). Receiving my masters degree. My first official Father’s day. Winning an award at a philosophy conference. So many other things could be mentioned, and there’s not enough time to recount them.
So good-bye 2009. Good-bye the 2000s. Wow. I can’t believe its been a decade since Y2K (where were you? I was in Chicago at Navy Pier with a million others).
Ah the semester is finally over--I turned in my papers a couple weeks ago but had to grade some final exams this week which weren't turned in until yesterday morning. It feels good to finally have the stress relieved, which means I actually have time to update my blog. And who knows, there may actually be someone out there who still reads it... And since its snowing like crazy this morning, what better way to spend the time to provide a little update.
Over the past couple weeks, we've been relishing in the Christmas festivities and holiday cheer. We've gone to a number of Christmas parties, had one of our own on the 12th, went to Duquesne's Christmas chorale concert on the 6th (it was ok -- too much Latin music for Amber's taste), and went to the Pittsburgh Symphony Christmas show this past thursday night, which was fantastic. Thankfully, Santa's stage time was kept to a minimum at the symphony (which also included the Mendelssohn choir and some special guests). They sang one of my top five choral pieces, "O Magnum Mysterium," and performed a wide variety of traditionals (portions of the Nutcracker), hymns, and contemporary songs.
As for Emerson, he's keeping us busy, getting his hands into everything and crawling all over the place. Earlier this past week he crawled up our entire flight of steps in less than two minutes (he was pretty proud of himself!). He's taken a liking to a number of activities around the house. Just earlier today, we found him rummaging through Amber's purse and had pulled out a number of items and placed them into his own little pile. Here's a few other things he enjoys:
Going through the tupperware drawer... and licking every single one he pulls out. This is one of his new faves.
Reading, or, er, pulling books off the shelf. Actually he loves to read and even flips to the next page on his own (his books are over to the right and often pulls them all out too). And yes, he did rip that piece of the book out, but alas, I'm not planning on reading Shakespeare's "Julius Caesar" anytime soon. "Et tu, Brute?"
Doing the dishes. Ok, so he pulls more dishes out, licks them, and then throws them on the ground more than anything, but he LOVES standing over there so much that we actually wait to do the dishes for when he's really bored and we can't think of anything else to do. He also tries to scamper into the fridge right behind him whenever we open it -- and seriously, that kid can hear the door open from anywhere on the first floor!
And using the restroom. So I wish he was potty trained, but alas, whenever he gets this close to the toilet is usually when one of us is trying to use it (no sense of privacy whatsoever!). It was definitely a shocking moment when I was going the bathroom the other day and suddenly he crawled between my legs and grabbed the toilet seat with both hands!! Actually, I think he likes the bathroom so much because he's come to love bathtime, and he just goes nuts when we turn the water on and take off his clothes. He's also learned that unraveling the toilet paper is quite fun too.
